As the title implies, this post is a continuation of Writing Sibling Relationships, Part 1: The Main Factors (link embedded). Points that were made in that post are not gone into detail here, so read both to get the full picture!
Weaving the relationship into a story
Assuming that siblings both play a role in the story, their bond is naturally going to show from time to time. Like friendships, all sibling relationships are a little different and are highly based on personality and the other factors that were mentioned in Part 1, so interaction should be customized with those in mind. Siblings that don’t talk often aren’t necessarily not on good terms, those that always fight may not actually hate each other, getting along isn’t always a sign of closeness, etc. If using a real-life or fictional example as a base, make sure to take into consideration the complexity and variety of most relationships and what factors contribute to their build and maintenance.
The level of sibling relationship exposure varies per story, but generally the best line to draw is between those that show up “on screen” and those that are confined to backstory or memory.
The sibling is only talked about in the story
To avoid the “Only Child Syndrome” trope that affects more fictional characters than in real life, some writers choose for a character to have siblings that don’t show up in person but definitely get mentioned and may have played a role in backstory. When writing a story with that setup, keep these things in mind:
- The audience is only going to know the sibling through the narrator’s eyes, which can often skew perception because they’re getting a single side of any story. Remember that the narrator should be portraying that sibling the way they personally know them, not the way the writer may think of them when character building.
- Be wary of over-sharing sibling stories to the point of where it can look like the narrator is obsessed. Sometimes those characters that don’t show up can become dear to a writer’s heart and they want to mention them as much as possible— but those mentions all have an effect that can look out of place or have odd implications for the narrator.
- What is the past relationship vs the current one? Sometimes siblings are just out of each other’s lives because of physical distance or a certain type of plot, but other times it’s an actual issue that should be well understood by the writer.
The sibling shows up in the story
This takes two forms:
1. When the plot is dependent on the relationship
Both siblings directly affect the plot in a way that doesn’t allow for one to be replaced with a different character without altering part of the story. For example: Two siblings band together to avenge a murdered parent; One sibling has an illness and the other is the only viable match for organ donation; A detective hunts their serial killer sibling, etc. In cases like those, bonds are often brought to the forefront and plot points rely enough on them to where they can hold secrets or have depth that truly matters.
- With relationship focus being on or near the front lines, make sure you have those factors mentioned in Part 1 locked down because they’re now an integral part of the plot.
- When revealing secrets or new information that genuinely surprises a sibling, reality check how it was hidden to make sure it lines up with their relationship and lives in general. Can you be sure that the secret could have stayed one? What length did the sibling have to go to hide it and did that have any effect on the relationship?
- If swapping POV between the siblings, their individuality should show through with how they think of each other. No two people have a 100% perfect idea of how the other works (though siblings tend to come much closer than non-siblings) so don’t be afraid to have a realistic disconnect between how one person thinks of themselves vs how someone else thinks of them. People can only judge and form ideas of others based on actions and words; thoughts can be inferred but are never truly known.
2. When the plot is not dependent on the relationship
These siblings aren’t thrown in “just for fun” (no real aspect of a story should be) but exist to bring a sense of realism to a character’s life rather than be a direct driver of the plot. It tends to take the form of: Calling up a sibling for advice, a sibling tagging along for an outing, a sibling drops a bombshell of information, etc. They can affect the other character enough to affect the plot, but the relationship itself is not directly plot-affecting. To pull this off well:
- Weave backstory into their interaction so the sibling doesn’t seem disposable or thrown in at the last minute. The backstory may not be directly plot related, but it can show information about character and setting or maybe bring a different occurrence into a new light.
- Have the sibling react to what the plot-relevant character says and does, especially when those actions may affect them. They should be more than just a family placeholder and a character in their own way, having some sort of stake in their sibling’s wellbeing (or maybe just their own…)
- Not all siblings are good family members but they’re not necessarily bad either. It’s possible to have a relatively neutral relationship with a sibling where interaction can be done out of a sense of duty or familiarity rather than the search for a good time.
Common Issues:
Siblings written as not having a sibling-level understanding of each other.
While this could be realistic for siblings not raised together or those who grew up and have been distant over some life events, you learn quite a lot about someone by living with them and that information doesn’t just fly out the window when you interact. Siblings learn things about each other whether they like it or not and they tend to have a deeper level of understanding that goes beyond basic friendship and sometimes even romance. For casts of younger characters especially, the sibling is going to be the person who has known them the longest and has seen them in a wider variety of situations (the “bad” and the “good”), so they should be able to pick up on the small and subtle things that may go over other characters'’ heads.
Don’t forget the power that living with someone can do for understanding them. While a more perceptive sibling would pick up more information, it would take a lot of successful and active hiding of the self over a long period of time to truly fool a sibling. When writing them, use the familial bond to play around with subtle hints they may pick up about the other that someone else may not notice.
Antics derail the scene.
While every scene should teach the reader something about the setting, character, or plot (many authors will argue it has to do at least two of those things) not literally every tiny moment has to adhere to that guideline. Siblings tend to have small antics like banter, pranks, and other forms of light teasing, but frequency and extent of those things should be kept in check. Fun interaction can be fun to write, but it needs to be woven into already meaningful scenes and not exist as pure comic relief that takes attention away from what actually matters.
While small moments are best to work with when it comes to antics, you also want to monitor how often they appear to avoid interruptions of flow. There’s no hard rule on frequency because a good sibling writer weaves it well enough to where they can get away with more, but if you notice that the focus of writing starts turning toward sibling antics then it’s likely going too far.
That “incestuous undertone”.
Perhaps not “common” in the sense that the average reader jumps to this conclusion, but it can be a concern for those who want to write super close siblings and tend to worry about fan reactions.
Unfortunately, it’s not always possible to completely shut an idea like that down because readers like to runoff with things and you can’t stop them. Even perfectly innocent moments can get sullied by readers messing around with ideas, misreading, misunderstanding— if they want to see it, then they’ll work hard to see it and writers should learn to let go of the idea that their image of a character (of a whole story, really) is what everyone else will see.
Majority of the reasons that siblings get questioned in this manner comes from how a lot of common sibling behavior is similar to crush-like behavior. Teasing, poking, messing around in serious situations, actively “going after” the other, stupid jokes, hugs, sometimes kisses, etc. Gender also pops up here, with relationships between opposite-gender siblings more likely to be seen as incestuous in the same way that M-F friendships are usually waited on “for them to get together already”. As society grows toward being more accepting of LGBTQ relationships, same-gender siblings can also get this treatment from some readers.
One of the best ways to avoid incestuous undertones, though not foolproof because nothing is, is just not to make a big deal out of any physical contact or the “crush-like behavior”. A big flag for any abnormal relationship is when the author draws attention to something that a character should see as no big deal, which usually implies writing an overreaction or narrating with odd focus. However, that also means making sure that the level of teasing interaction doesn’t cross the line into subtle hints of weirdness. That line exists in varying places for different cultures and can be affected by other factors, so have a good understanding of where it could be if you’re worried about it.
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